Final Drive: I Am Not a Professional: But I play one on TV

There are days I wonder to myself, what the hell am I doing? Have you had these days? Sometimes it's like everything I touch turns to crap. This doesn't happen often, may be every few or a little more years, but it is disconcerting none the less. I recently found myself asking myself that very same question after doing the 18K mile service on my R1200RT.

I had planned for the 18K mile service well in advance. I bought 4 quarts of Mobil 1 V-Twin the month before, which was $2 off a quart on sale at O'Reilly's, a quart of Valvoline Synthetic 75w-140 for the transmission, a quart of Mobil 1 75w-90 for the final drive, 4 NGK DCPR8EIX spark plugs (which were harder to find than a set of points for a 1923 Excelsior), a Mann MW75 oil filter and I already had the crush washers for the transmission and oil drain. I started at 9am on a Saturday morning, which is actually late for me. First, off with all the Tupperware, which takes 15-20 minutes to remove 90% of it. I started from the front, with the valve adjustment and spark plugs. Oops, the lower spark plugs have a retainer that requires a T-30, which I don't have. Off to O'Reilly's to pick it up. Just a comment here: Why does BMW, in their wisdom, make the bosses that the spark plugs are ensconced so small that anyone that changes plugs needs a socket that is as thin as a crepe? Can you say wafer thin? Valves were marginal in needing adjustment, which is a good thing. They've needed adjustment each time I adjusted them at 6K and 12K miles. Hopefully it is a sign that things are settling in. I then cleaned up the gaskets and mounting surfaces for the valve covers, mounted them and torqued to spec. My iPhone came in handy as I put in all the torque specs for the bike before I started work. Next, time to install plugs. Another lesson learned here on the lower spark plugs: Do not try to be GI Joe with Kung Fu grip when removing coils. Carefully wiggle the boot on the insulator to get the coil off the plug or it might be possible to break the plastic boss for the voltage lead plug for the coil. Talk about wafer thin, the plastic on that coil plug boss is thinner than this, but not nearly as enticing, but almost as expensive.

Next I moved on to the oil change, changing out the oil filter and replacing the crush washer on the drain plug. Torque to spec, or so I thought (later on that), I added 4 quarts of Mobil's best to the engine and on then next, on to the transmission. I drained the transmission, new crush washers on the fill and drain plugs, torque the drain plug to spec, fill with 75w-140, torque the fill plug to spec and move on. What is truly lovely about draining transmission fluid from a RT is that not only do you have to take off the right side body work to drain and refill, you need a small funnel or an ad hoc representative (I used a 1 liter water bottle. Aqua Fina seems to work fine) to route the fluid into a drain pan or the catalytic converter and god knows what else will get bathed in the stuff. For those that don't know what gear lube smells like, you are in for a treat. It's smells like a cross between turmeric and cat piss. It might appeal to someone that lives for Indian food, but it does nothing for me. Get it on your clothes and you'll hear from whomever does your laundry, I guarantee it. Next up: The final drive and I don't mean another column here, but the gear lube change for the final drive on my RT.

Changing the final drive fluid isn't bad. Remove the left pannier, muffler hanger bolt, loosen the muffler clamp, rotate the muffler clockwise (another idiom that has fallen out of favor in the digital age. If I have to explain it, you probably shouldn't be doing this.) which turns it down. When the muffler is at the floor, then we can remove the 5 bolts for the wheel, remove wheel and set it aside. At this point, I can open the fill plug, which is on the upper left side of the drive on the back and then remove the drain plug at 6 O'Clock (Here I go with the anachronistic idioms again), draining the drive, or remove the ABS/Speedometer sensor on the upper right on the back of the drive. I chose the latter (on model years prior to 2009 I believe, there is no fill plug. You have to go through the sensor hole.). It's a good idea to see if there is any metallic particles on the sensor and if so, clean it. The drive requires 180ml or cc of gear lube. It used to be something like 230cc's, but BMW revised this figure downward when there was a spate of final drive failures, which is a subject that lives on it's own. At this point, it's just wait for the drive to drain, reinstall the drain plug, torque to spec, fill the drive, and reinstall the sensor. All is well, right?

Well, as they say, all that glitters is not gold and Murphy was indeed an optimist. I've also come to some conclusions when working on BMW's. The week following the service, I smelled that lovely and familiar turmeric/cat piss smell after riding. Upon inspection, I saw the transmission drain plug was leaking. I also noticed some weeping of he engine oil drain plug. I checked the plugs with a torque wrench. The transmission was in spec, the oil drain wasn't (and stopped weeping after this.). Since I didn't have spares for the transmission and I didn't trust the third party I bought them from, I decided to go to the dealer and get some replacements, which I did. I again did the Tupperware dance, drained the transmission and installed the new, BMW crush washers. They seemed tight after this but...I smelled that familiar smell in ensuing days. In keeping with the Shakespeare theme here, O what smell through yon drain plug stinks of cat piss and turmeric? This time it was the drain on the final drive, which used an O-Ring. I had replaced the O-ring at 3500 miles when I changed the final drive fluid last, so I figured it was still good. I was wrong. What is interesting is that in between the transmission and final drive seepage/weepage was a fuel strip failure. When I had the bike in for that warranty repair, I asked the service writer to look at the final drive to see how it is, in terms of tightness (a sign of impending failure is too much movement while rocking the wheel while holding it at 12 o'clock and 6 o'clock and it's not much movement either.) and the service writer said everything was fine. I wonder what the techs thought of the weepage on the final drive drain plug and the spotting on the wheel? I won't mention names here as I have already laid a stinker in the room in regards to GOAZ, but there was some evidence on the wheel of seepage/weepage on the wheel as well as the drain plug. This weekend I drained the final drive and replaced the o-rings for the sensor and the drain plug. We'll see, but I am hopeful.

So, Jim's Law of working on BMW Motorcycles:

1. Always clean gasket/sealing surfaces scrupulously and use a solvent like acetone. 
2. Always replace  o-rings and crush washers with each service where the drain/fill plugs are removed and use BMW parts. No exceptions.
3. When unplugging connectors or removing an item that is plugged in, use extra-special care. BMW does not engineer these parts to withstand the power of Thor and you'll find that flimsy plastic piece will cost you a small fortune to replace, because you'll have to replace the whole unit of whatever it is.
4. When their are requirements in the owners or shop manual, follow them to the letter. BMW is made by Germans. They are an exacting people, unlike Americans or the Japanese, who give a little more leeway at times. I have no idea about Italian bikes, other than being half Italian would lead me to believe that with a Ducati or Motoguzzi or other Italian bikes, it all depends...

So there you have it. An 18K mile service that seemed to span a few weeks. Normally I am very good about these things, but this time it was a real Whiskey Tango Foxtrot moment or moments. The good thing is we live and learn, at least some of us do. We also have "those days" where we wish we could get a do over. In the end it's all good. I think...

Thank you for reading this blog. 

Final Drive: Geronimo, Tom Horn and the Apache Trail

Arizona was one of the last territories to gain statehood, which it did on Valentine's Day, 1912 and celebrated the centennial last year. Alaska and then Hawaii followed next  in 1959. While Arizona is a latecomer to the game, it has a storied past that involves native americans, miners, ranchers and a host of bad guys all trying to make a living or just survive in this unforgiving land. While unforgiving might seem harsh in judgement to people that have never been here, I can tell you that Arizona is as rugged as anyplace on earth and in some ways resembles Mars, except temperatures here often exceed 100 degrees 5 months out of the year. It really is a testament to the native peoples and early settlers that survived if not flourished here. In some ways, I wish I could say the same about myself.

Irish

Since moving Arizona, I have been pretty much on my own as far as riding and even socializing. I have a handful of online friends that live in the Phoenix area, but we pretty much keep to ourselves. Last week I emailed a friend, who I'll call "Irish" (I changed the names to protect the innocent), to find out if he would like to take a ride out to Globe for lunch. Another friend of ours, known as "Cactus Jack" has been bragging up a  Mexican place called Irene's for quite some time and with the improving weather, I thought that last Thursday would be a good day to check it out. Irish arrived at my house at 9 AM, riding his black 2006 Kawasaki Nomad. Good thing it was 9 AM as the pipes were loud and although not wake up the dead loud, they definitely get one's attention. So off we went, Frick and Frack, on our trip to Globe, aided by Irish's GPS, a Tom Tom, which was used on the maiden voyage of the space shuttle Discovery. While advanced for its day, it had issues with roads built after the state's founding. This is ok for the most part as most roads here are just paved horse trails anyway. After making a few corrections, we found our selves out by AZ 88, also known as the Apache Trail. Irish had to stop for gas as the Nomad's range is slightly farther than a Chevy Volt on electricity only, which is to say not very far. During this stop, he said lets go by the Apache Trail to 188, which will bring us into Globe. Being of the adventurous kind, I said sure...

Map of the Apache Trail

AZ 88 is a picturesque road for sure, with gold mining camps and a ghost town along the way. It reminded me of Calico Ghost town out on I 15 going to Las Vegas. Soon afterward, the road got windy, narrow and poorer in quality. Some of the blacktop looked like it hadn't been repaved since Checkers bailed out tricky dick. With expansion crack heaves every 10 feet or so, I just couldn't get the right rhythm. Part of it is that I run higher than average pressure in my tires as I am larger than average. The side affect is a bumpy ride on not so nice roads, but the roads were twisty and not for the faint of heart. The scenery was top notch, just keep clear of the post life facilitating drop offs as there are very few guard rails here. Anyway, we made it to Tortilla Flats, which is sort of a rest stop sized town with a saloon and curio store. Irish had to go inside to walk the dog while I made acquaintances with the Lost Dutchman.

The Lost Dutchman of Tortilla Flats

After Irish's pit stop, we conversed with some canucks who has stopped at the shop and were headed back out. That should have been my warning. The Canadians were looking over my BMW, commenting how they'd love to have the new K1600. Sure, for another $8K in the US, who knows how much in Albertastan. Anyway, Irish asks me if I mind riding on dirt roads. I told him I do it occasionally. He then asks if we should continue on 88 as he thinks some of it is dirt. Since the gauntlet was thrown down and from a cruiser rider, I couldn't say no, so we proceeded onward.

Around the Bend On the Apache Trail

Not long after Tortilla Flats the road did indeed turn to dirt, with plenty of washboard surface with what I would describe as talcum powder on top of it. The road looked like it hadn't been maintained in awhile and there were alluvial ruts that I didn't want to track in as it usually leads to a bad end. The real shocker was to find out that I had 22 miles of this and more before I got back on pavement. At that point, I was in all the way. The road continued on with a combination of relatively short straights, uphill and downhill switch backs with some downhill grades that were interesting with vistas of scrub brush, saguaro cactus and rugged rocky mountains that make Mt Rushmore seem like a cornfield in Iowa. It was the longest 22 miles I've ridden in my life and while it did take an hour and a little more, during the ride, I ruminated over the name, Apache Trail and wondered if Geronimo had taken his people over this trail to get to better weather than the summer heat in the valley or to escape the wrath of the Mexican or US Armies. In surveying the scenery I also wondered if the land here certainly bears a resemblance to the ruggedness seen in Geronimo's face, I think it does. At the same time I don't think Irish and I would fair well in those times. We resemble Tom and George Custer more than I'd like, Irish especially. Speaking of Tom, George and Geronimo, I also couldn't help thinking if Tom Horn, the indian scout, deputy sheriff, Pinkerton Detective, Rough Rider and stock detective cum convicted murderer had graced these same trails as well. I am pretty certain both did, I just hoped my fate would be better than theirs.

More of the Apache Trail

The plain truth is, the ride wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, just slow and with a bike not meant to ride on that kind of terrain. I did learn a couple lessons though. One, going too slow makes the ride rougher. So rough at times I thought the bike would shake apart and anecdotally, it seems my 49L topcase might be a little looser. Two, don't hold the grips tight or too tight. This wore out my forearms and made the trip back home a pain because my hands were cramping, which has happened before, on a trip to the west coast. It's not a good feeling. Three, getting off the seat at times made the ride better. Thing is, I haven't ridden much dirt, except on a friends YZ250 and a KLR 25 years ago, but taking that short cut as it were has given me some ideas for the future, which would be getting a dirt ready street bike as a second bike or to replace the RT and I've always loved the R1200GSA. Adding insult to stupidity was when two people whizzed by Irish and me like were standing still. It looked like they were riding Honda CRF250L's. Later on we caught up with them at Roosevelt Dam and they looked to be a couple closer to 60 than I was. Ouch.

The Apache Trail next to Apache Lake

In the end it was a successful trip and we had lunch at Irene's in Globe before heading back to the valley. Next time, I will take the paved way to Globe, unless I have a dirt ready bike, which I doubt. Not unless I win the lottery. :)

Thank you for reading this blog.

The Bikes, Rear View

The Bikes, Front View

Tom Horn

Heading out of Tortilla Flats

My Friend, Irish

Geronimo

Final Drive: The Consequences of Compromise

Compromise: The acceptance of standards that are lower than is desirable. Now, this is a straightforward definition that when applied to my premise, at first blush you may think I am batty. The context of this discussion is motor vehicles, but allow me to explain.

Motorcycle Cruiser

In the age I grew up in, vehicles were pretty specialized. We had pickup trucks, station wagons, sedans, coupes, sports cars, etc. With motorcycles, we have sportbikes, cruisers, touring bikes, standards and adventure bikes. In the past 10 years or so I've seen a trend in vehicle design where the lines have been blurred and in the case of cars, I see vehicles that are crossover-stationawagon-suv-minivan-sedan like in design. Look at the new Ford Explorer or Chevrolet Traverse and you will see what I mean. I see some of the same things starting to happen in the motorcycle world. Bikes like the Vstrom and R1200GS are a couple that come to mind. Are they dirt bikes or touring bikes? R1200RT, Concours 14, ST1300 and FJ1300. Are they touring bikes or sport bikes? This trend in design reminds me of politics. Some politicians try to be everything to everyone and therefore cater to whomever they are speaking to at a particular moment. The thing is, the only people that could truly be that way are narcissistic sociopaths. Most people have a particular slant. In a sense, both voter and politician compromise something in the process of achieving some sort of consensus. With vehicle design, it would seem that a swiss army knife approach to design is in vogue. What of it?

It seems people want there vehicles to be able to everything capably, if not exceeding well. This is a daunting task as if you were designing a sports car or sport bike, you would have a set of requirements unique to that type of bike: Light, fast, quick (there is a difference), exception handling and exceptional stopping ability.  If you were designing a vehicle meant for trips short and long, to have some capacity to carry more than just occupants, you'd have another set of parameters. Comfort would enter the equation, so would storage capacity and fuel range. In trying to merge differing classes of vehicles, there must be compromises made. For instance, in designing such a machine, It will never handle quite as well as a sport bike, but better than a full boat tourer. It will not have the storage capacity of a full boat tourer, but it will be worlds better than a sport bike. The same would be true of comfort. In each case there is a lowering of some standard to make it good enough in the new "swiss army knife" category.

Don't get me wrong. Right now, both cars and motorcycles demonstrate unprecedented reliability and performance in most cases. Gone are the days of carburetors, poor charging systems and kick starters, and believe me, one used to follow the other. My 1978 KZ1000 had a kick start and I was glad for it. The 2007 Nomad I had and my RT are paradigms for reliability, at least they were and are in the time I have and had owned them. While I think there will be further advances, I believe we are doing pretty good today. 20 years ago, I wouldn't have made that statement. Still, I feel a certain loss. I am the type of person that believes in the purposefulness of my tools. I've never been one for having a 4 in 1 screw driver or one of those multi-size rotating ends box wrenches. I prefer separate examples please. There's always the right tool for the job. So it goes with cars and motorcycles. If I want something to scare me, I'd buy a Corvette or a S1000RR. if i need to haul stuff, I'll buy a regular cab Ford Super Duty F350 or Dodge Ram 3500 with a Cummins, not a Honda Ridgeline or a Chevrolet Avalanche. If I need a Family carrier, it's have to be a Chevrolet Suburban or a Ford Expedition EL, not a minivan nor a 4 door sedan (I hate both minivans and 4 door sedans. Neither were meant for over-sized humans like myself). If I wanted a touring bike, I would buy a Gold Wing or a Cross Country Tour. Or would I?

The problem in my own theory of purposeful tools is that in order of live that way, expect to spend more cash, not matter if we are talking screw drivers or motorcycles. I can't afford to own more than one bike (I might if someone would pay me to write, but that is another story) and with cars, we just have two, a 2009 Suburban and a 2001 Jetta, which simply refuses to go away. My RT was a compromise, but so was my Nomad. I liked the Nomad. It was an easy bike to own. Not a lot of maintenance and what maintenance there was, it was easy. The problem was it wasn't feature rich with things like cruise control and heated seats and grips. Speaking of seats, even with a mustang seat, it was torture going more than 60 miles on that bike. When I looked for a new bike, I had always wanted a BMW. Their reliability is legendary, or so I think it is. I really like the R1200GS Adventure. It is built for someone my size. I can even keep the balls of my feet on the ground when it's on the center-stand. The mistake I made was bringing my wife to look at it. The GSA was outfitted with the optional panniers and my wife commented that they looked like organ donor boxes and she also said that she'd never ride on it, so I got the RT instead. The RT does so many things well. It handles better than I will ever ride, stops like an F-18 landing on the USS Roosevelt, and has adequate acceleration. It came with cruise control, heated seats and grips, computer, a power adjustable windscreen and electronically adjustable suspension. It's an amazing bike. A compromise on many levels, but still an amazing bike. Still, I find myself bored somehow. Is it too good? Does it lack character? Is there anything missing? Sure I'd like more stonk. I'd like a better seat for sure and with the titanium color, if you can call it that, well, it's boring. There I said it. Boring. My Nomad was the girl next door and this is her cousin from Germany that's a lot higher maintenance although she makes up for it in almost every other way. Still, as Eddie Murphy once said, after awhile it's the same old ritz cracker.

At this point you are saying, huh? Well, the one thing I get now is why riders of Harley Davidson's like them so much. They aren't the best at anything except may be style and character, which they have in spades. I also understand why squid riders like their crotch rockets. On some level there is no compromise. They buy them for one reason and this fosters commitment. In fact I would say it demands it. I guess it comes down to what is important to you. Is it image, all out performance, long distance travel in comfort or the ability to play in the dirt? I do know that we do have enough choices out there that it shouldn't be difficult to satisfy any taste although I hope the motorcycle industry doesn't fall into the everything to everyone trap that the automotive industry has created. I see signs of it, but we still have a nice selection to choose from. Yes, compromise has a consequence and it's basically a lack of satisfaction. I don't recommend it.

Final Drive: The Botway Factor

In my Father's Day piece, I left out one person that deserves as much credit as any of the rest in fomenting motorcycling to me. It wasn't a purposeful oversight, the truth is, I forgot. Stanley or Dr. Botway as I used to call him, was a chiropractor in North Merrick, NY. My mom had gone to him for years and I when I started having my own back issues in my late teens, I started going to him too. Stan is a gregarious sort of chap with a fantastic sense of humor and he resembled Benny Hill a little too, which adds to the flavor. As you know, I was exposed to motorcycles and people that rode them from a young age. What made Stan different is that he rode a BMW. Once you got to know Stan, it was understandable: He liked the very best in any hobby or interest he pursued. Stan also collected firearms and knives, which were other areas of interest we shared. His tastes in those also showed a tendency to favor what would be considered best in class.

Still, when I was young, I never understood the draw towards BMW as a motorcycle. They were stodgy, parochial and to be honest, seemed to be odd to me. They were a bike for old fuddy duddies. Stan would regale me with stories and opinions of how balanced they were in terms of performance and functionality. Stan certainly had the riding chops to back it up, with riding around half a million miles lifetime in a sport where some people wouldn't do that in five lifetimes. He would often take off for as long as six weeks in the summer and tour the country going as far as Alaska. In spite of these stories, I went a different route, starting off with a 1978 Kawasaki KZ1000 in 1987. While the KZ would run circles around any boxer of that day, in time I would find out the limitations. The KZ could go well enough, but stopping and handling were another story. From there I went to a GPz750 that was my brothers. I kind of got it back in shape, but gave it back to him when I moved to Iowa, as I already had a Vulcan 800 Classic at the time that was going with me. Since then I have owned a Vulcan Nomad 1600 and now a 2009 R1200RT, but I am getting ahead of myself.

Over the years I had kept in touch with Stan and used his services when I had to. He was the only chiropractor I had ever used prior to moving to Iowa. Since then, he retired from practice and moved to North Carolina. Some years ago I had gotten in contact with him and we converse through email. About a year ago, I felt that the Nomad wasn't the motorcycle for me. It's a lovely bike ridden within it's limitation or even mine, but it's not complete or well balanced. It doesn't have ABS, cruise control, or heated seats and grips. Speaking of seats, Kawasaki must have hired CIA interrogation operatives to design the stock seat. I couldn't ride that bike without wanting to jump off it after an hour. I tried a Mustang seat, and it was the biggest waste of money I had spent on a motorcycle. I still wanted to jump off after an hour and half. Anyway, I felt I needed something more balanced, more complete. As luck would have it, Stan had a 1998 R1100RT, complete with Russell Day Long seat and a trailer. The price was very good, but I decided against buying it. I felt bad about it, as it would have been nice to "inherit" a bike owned by Stan, but I wanted something newer, more modern, something complete and balanced.  I could afford to do it, so I did. Last October, I found a leftover 2009 R1200RT at a local dealer. I think I may had momentarily disappointed Stan, but I heard he sold it to a neighbor.

I could write a tome about Stan or at least my impressions and interactions with him, but in a nutshell, he was a great factor, an immeasurable one in my starting out and continuing to ride motorcycles. My mom was scared to death that something bad would happen to me. She had a very negative view of motorcycles and Stan understood that. One, he told her he would talk to me about riding safely, and two, he reassured her that I would be ok. Mom trusted Stan and it went a long way in keeping her peace of mind. Stan's advice to me was to always have the attitude that everyone on the road is trying to kill you, where on purpose or otherwise and have eye on all sides of your head.  His advice works as far as I am concerned. He was my chiropractor, friend, set a good example as a fellow human being and on this past Father's Day, I wish him the best and thank him for being there for me. With him, I would not be riding today and it's as simple as that. My only other wish is that we lived closer. God bless you Stan and thank you.

Thank you for reading this blog.

Final Drive: 3000

This past weekend was a weekend for barriers to be broken, records to be set, new territory to be gained. Yes, Derek Jeter hit and surpassed 3000 career hits lifetime, all as a Yankee. He's the first Yankee to hit 3000 or more hits as Yankee and only a Yankee. Ruth didn't do it, Mantle didn't do it, Gehrig didn't do it, no one else had done it. On top of that, Derek Jeter did it. The captain of baseball's most storied and prestigious team, a Mr Clean in an era of steroid abusers, womanizers, alcoholics, drug addicts, gambling addicts and all around derelicts. He deserves all the kudos he receives and more. Bravo.

Another milestone is that My RT crossed 3000 miles. Hardly notable for a BMW or any motorcycle really, but I usually like to keep track of these milestones and where they happened. In this case, I was on route 141 and 170th street at the time, going somewhere north of 75 mph. Right now I have something like 3072 miles on the bike. I'll be changing all the fluids soon in preparation for a trip I plan to take in late August to Crescent City California for the KawaNOW West Coast Rally. I used to own a Kawasaki Nomad prior to the BMW, so I still keep in touch and I am part of that group. A great bunch of people. Anyway, I plan to change the oil, transmission and final drive fluid, in the next couple weeks. All this was supposed to be done with the 600 mile service I had done at 450 miles, but in my paranoid head, I wonder if all of it was done, and so it will be. On the return, it will be past the 6000 mile service and at that time, I will do that too. This includes oil change, transmission and final drive fluid change, valve clearance check and adjustment and throttle sync adjustment. On this oil change, I plan to switch to synthetic as it will have over 8000 miles at that point, which is beyond the 6000 miles recommendation by BMW to switch to synthetic engine oil. At that point I will probably need tires too.

If the RT makes it through this without a hitch, I have no reason not to foresee a long relationship. I've only owned Kawasaki's before the RT and I never had any issues with motorcycles bought new, where I broke it in myself and maintained it thoroughly. I have to admit that I have my doubts, reading about broken final drives, fuel strips, ESA shocks and ABS units. All very expensive to fix out of warranty, and a still a pain when in warranty. So, the question remains, at least for me, will I have a Derek Jeter, a Mickey Mantle, or Bob Uecker? Some days I have my doubts, but so far they have been unfounded. Every ride confirms my previous experiences with the motorcycle and that is, it's the best bike I have owned to date. Why I have these doubts, I am not sure other than the perception of how costly it is to maintain and repair these machines. On the other hand, my Kawasakis were very easy to own. So, you may ask, why did I switch? That's a subject for another column.

Thank you for reading this blog.

Dealer or No Dealer

Today was no different than another. I started with my ritual of perusing the various motorcycle forums, reading the latest complaints about seats or windscreens, when a particular post about the new BMW K1600GT/GTL, where the original poster asked would we trade our trusty RT steeds for the new bike. Of course not wanting to miss an opportunity to rant, I could not help myself, so below is my answer:

"Doesn't matter whether I ride it or not. Beaucoup money. The budget says, the RT is it, at least for now. On the other hand, whatever I would get next, has to require less maintenance than the RT. Not that it is a lot, but adjusting valves in this day and age and synching the throttles, well, it long in the tooth. All we really should have to do is to change fluids, new tires and brakes with the occasional spark plugs. I'd also like to see the need for a dealer to reset the service indicator go away. "

Of course, the OP, not wanting to miss the snark parade, quipped his own response:

"A book: Zen and the art of motorcycle maintenance. Check it out, then maybe you will want to get in touch with your ride."

Of course, I could not let it go, so here it is:

"I've read it twice. I know how to work on bikes and cars. I've rebuilt engines, transmissions and differentials (I've even did an upper end job on a small block Chevy in Fargo in February, outside as we were stuck). I just don't care to do it if I don't have to, certainly not on an everyday vehicle. Technology has gotten to the point where what I ask for is very possible. For a BMW, you'd think it'd be de rigueur."

Now that Fargo reference is a story I am trying to sell to a bike or car/truck mag, but so far no bites. :( That said, the topic did stir some thought processes, which based on part of my original posting and the genesis for it, which is, why do so many BMW riders seem resigned, eager, accepting, or even promoting that in order to have a proper rider experience on a BMW, it must be serviced by the Dealer. In fact, if it is not, a rider runs the risk of such horrors as BMW not standing behind a warranty claim at worst, or the bike not being right at best (hearken to a movie named "A New Leaf" with Walter Mathau. "Carbon on the valves" is a memorable line.).

Since buying my RT, I have noticed that there seems to be something different about owning a BMW. No, not the quality of the ride etc, but the group of people that associate themselves with the brand. Understand, prior to the Beemer, I have owned nothing but Kawasaki motorcycles. Owning a bike from Team Green was a self-reliant proposition for me. You do all the proper maintenance and the bike goes forever. No magic incantations, superstitions, or long held beliefs that anyone would look at with a sideways glance.

I will tell you what I mean. God forbid you use anything but a BMW oil filter on a Hexhead. May be a Mann filter, but you'll need special dispensation from the Teutonic motor gods. Bosch you say, perish the thought. Do not even mention team orange. Excommunication will ensue. Do not even talk about oil, especial gear oil and final drives. Oh, final drives you say? Do not even go there either. Seems to be bad history there. From here let us move on to fuel. I am against ethanol in gas as much as the next gear head, but god forbid if you have to use gas with ethanol in it. It will turn your prized aryan rocket into a pile of feckless cycle parts in no time. Of course there are facts to back all this up.

Before you think my snark is toxic, let me say I am having fun with this, and there is more than a grain of anal truth to this. Anal is a good word for it too. At first I thought it is because of the high entry price for these bikes, but I never read this kind of repartee from owners of Harley Davidsons. It must be some sort of transference. The natural anal tendencies of the German race rub off on the owners of BMW bikes.  Sounds like a theory. At this point, that is all it is, a theory. There probably is a grain of truth, but it lies more in the type of people that would buy a BMW. Left brained types, metaphysical types need not apply. Use the same mindset at a Harley dealer and the salesman will look at you like you have three foreheads. Trust me, I speak from experience. At The Motor Company, either you believe or you do not. This brings me back around to my original question or thought really: Should a motorcycle be created, designed, marketed and otherwise sold that is necessary for the dealer to bless in order to have even a proper motorcycling experience, let alone functional efficacy?

I have to tell you, I have a confession to make. I do have a little bit of an axe to grind. No, it is not my experience in dealing with dealers as a customer, but rather dealing with such types of establishments as a mechanic (I have also worked in computer repair with similar experiences, more later). I can admit it, I have worked for at least one thief. One of the thieves in question owned a gas station in Massapequa New York on Merrick Road, whose fuel supply was British owned. Anyway, here goes a few good ones. Mrs. G's car wouldn't start in the Waldbaum's parking lot. Our boss tows the car back to the shop. If I recall, it was a late 70's Buick Apollo. Turns out it was a loose wire on the neutral safety switch. Our boss had us take the starter out, repaint it and put it back in. $120 + tow. Same car had a rear transmission seal leak. Instead of replacing the seal and topping off the fluid level, our boss said she needed a new transmission. We sent to the car out to a transmission shop we had a deal with. $200 our cost, $700 for the customer. All for what was really needed was a $5 seal and a quart of Dextron. I can go on and it gets worse. Funny thing was, when his degenerate son came in with a car problem, we had to be like NASA engineers, rebuilding everything to spec like his son was going to the International Space Station. I had a better place he could visit. Even a several years ago, I worked as a computer hardware tech in a local shop. When we first opened, our boss said that every computer that comes in has a hardware problem. This time I stood my ground and said no. Integrity means something to me. I will also tell you that I turned the previously gas station owner into the state for what he was doing (he was running bogus emissions inspections for used car dealers), when I left his employ. I also told Mrs. G how she was getting screwed. Payback is a bitch.

I went by a couple rules when working on other people's stuff: One, do not charge for work that was not done. This means that If I replace just the brake pads, I will only charge for the brake pads. The guy I worked for above would write War and Peace on the invoice of what he wanted people to believe he did so they would not mind him ass raping them. Two, do not do work that is not necessary. This can be as innocuous as the upsell, which is trying to sell a service when someone comes in for a particular problem to something more insidious as finding more wrong than actually is. In this case the work is done, but unnecessary. Case in point: You go to the dealer for a warranty issue with the power steering pump. The service manager tries to sell you a power steering fluid flush. Let me tell you it's rubbish. If the power steering pump is being replaced under warranty, then so should the fluid if it has to be replaced. If it doesn't have to be replaced, as the manufacturer may not require it, then why do it? It's a way of drumming up money. Sometimes things are done just out of incompetence. I have a friend whose F-150 had a miss. Went to the dealer he bought it from and the service manager said it needed fuel injectors. $2500. He went to another dealer. Turns out it just needed a coil pack, covered under warranty. Most people don't know any better.

Back to BMW and other bikes. While dealers do have or should have experienced mechanics or now as they are called "Technicians", they do charge $80 or more dollars per hour (most of which said technician never sees) and tend to take the eyes out of your head on parts. For instance, one fellow recently paid $100 for 4 quarts of oil and an oil filter at a BMW dealer. Holy dog shit batman, that is insane. If you are adept at service, where is the money better off, in your pocket or the dealers? I am guessing the former. While the cheapest thing on a BMW motorcycle is the rider, I have come to think it is justified. Without getting into the Magnuson Moss Act, As long as the repair schedule is followed with materials that meet the specifications, then it's all good. Just keep good records and receipts. While I think some of the maintenance procedures for the beemer are excessive for a modern bike (valve adjustments every 6k miles, throttle sync to name two), they are spelled out. In some ways, I cannot help feeling that the service requirements coupled with the beemer culture have been created to suit a rather limited dealer network. There have been times too when I wonder if I made a mistake in buying a BMW. I do not like to be dependent on anyone, let alone a potential shyster. It just rubs me the wrong way and I know that not every dealer will have my ethic. The only thing that seems to help is riding the bike. When I ride the RT, it seems all the petty worries about warranties and service go away. Does this mean I will be taking the RT to the dealer for service? No, not if I can help it. I still plan to do my own service, BMW sycophants be damned. If it comes down to "he said she said" dealer bully tactics if something breaks, then it is No Deal. At that time, the RT will find a new owner and I will go back to team green. There is nice red Vaquero that caught my eye. You never know.

Thank you for reading this blog.

The Wind Cries Mary

Living in the mid-west poses some different challenges in riding a motorcycle than it does when I lived on the east coast. One of those of those challenges is wind. It is a lot windier out here than on Long Island, especially in the spring. In fact it can get so bad as to push me into another lane. It has happened a couple times since I bought my R1200RT last November. It never was a problem with my last bike, which was a Kawasaki Nomad 1600. The obvious differences are weight, profile, and riding position.

The RT is 250 pounds lighter than the Nomad. That is a lot for a motorcycle. The Nomad is also lower and the rider sits in the bike more than on it with the RT. The riding position of the RT is more like a UJM or that the rider sits straight up. Lastly, I have a topcase on the RT and I believe that contributes to stability as well. The bike seems more stable without the topcase on it. Still, none of these facts would seem like that big of a deal to me. I have owned motorcycles that were as light or lighter than the RT and I did not have the problem of getting pushed into another lane, but those bikes were owned when I lived back east and memories tend to be kind. It's the one bugaboo I have about the RT.

One way I try to ameliorate strong cross winds is to go faster. This sounds counter intuitive at first, but if you have experience with ballistics, it makes perfect sense. With bullets, the higher the velocity, the less it is affected by wind downrange. One misguided chap on the BMW Sport Touring Forum said I should sit straight up. Ummmm....Yeah. Ok. I am a freaking sail as it is. I could be used as a mainsail on the USS Constitution.  No, that won't work. Other than speed, I think the only other way is to ride without the topcase or even the panniers. Or be about 8 inches shorter and 8 inches narrower.

Lest you think I jest about the tira vento, I have had instances when the wind is head on, the bike dips quite a bit and slows down when I shift. The wind likes to change direction between morning and afternoon commutes. I used to get headwinds both ways on one commute. Anyway, there is no use complaining about nature. It is what it is. I can deal with rain, I can deal with wind, and I can deal with cold. What I cannot deal with is lightning, but that is another story for another time.

Thank you for reading this blog.

Speed Sucks

One of the frustrations of riding the R1200RT is adhering to the posted speed limits. It's bad enough that local constabularies have become the de facto doughnut tax collectors, but the RT makes it that much more difficult to avoid paying that tax. Before all the authoritarian but holes scream forth about young married couples and their kids, let me clarify a few things. One, Iowa is so bad with cops ticketing people for tax collection that the state graces two speeding tickets a year if they are under 10 mph over the speed limit. That means they don't count towards taking your license away. This is because no one would have a license after a couple years. It's that bad.

Two, on many roads speed limits are kept low to increase revenue. Roads can be certified for speed limit and in some cases, local municipalities won't do it because they will lose revenue. So, if you get a speech about safety, bullocks. As someone once said, follow the money. I see roads in Iowa that are semi-divided with 2-3 lanes on each side and the speed limit is 35-40 mph.  Anyway, back to my problem. The problem is, the RT is geared tall and built for the Autobahn. Hit 5th gear and I have to use cruise control to keep the speed down on the interstate. Same with local roads with other gears. I like to use the higher gears to keep the revs down and the gas mileage up, but still, the bike wants to do 80+ when the open road arrives, moreover, I think 110 all day is doable. I never had this issue with the Nomad. The Nomad topped out around 105, so the bike was in it's element between 65-80. It didn't want to or have to go faster. For some reason the silver Teutonic missile has other ideas. I swear, I can hear the bike (in a German accent): Don't be a girlie man, twist the f@#king throttle you weakling! 

The biggest problem and therefore roadblock to higher speed limits in the US is driver training. Driving as more of a right than gun ownership and you'd think it was an amendment in the constitution. If you look at the land of the Autobahn, they have fairly rigorous requirements for riding a motorcycle. From what I understand, a rider has to take 6 hours of theory and a minimum of 12 hours of practicum, 5 hours on the road, 4 hours on the Autobahn and 3 hours of night riding. These are minimums and the cost of the school is €1500-2000. In many European countries, licenses are tiered. You may get a motorcycle license, but it is limited to an engine size until you have enough time on it to graduate to the next size. I believe they do this in Britain, where everyone has to start out on a 125 or 250. Pity the poor bike of that size with me on it.

As libertarian as I am, I would be ok with stricter licensing requirements if we had higher speed limits. I would pay for the training and obviously go through it myself as well. I think we could benefit from it as well, but the biggest objection is the compulsory nature of it. In the state I currently reside, Iowa, there is no helmet law. In as much as it may seem that driving seems to be a constitutional right, try making riders wear helmets here. You'd have a mutiny on your hands. May be the best solution is to have it as an option. Want to ride fast? Go through the extensive training and get a special tag for your license plate and endorsement on your license. People as such could ride the higher speeds in such lanes allotted for that purpose. That said, while we are on the subject of lanes, I will say that commercial trucks should be limited to not being allowed in the left lane. They aren't in NY, they shouldn't everywhere. It clogs up the roads and makes it more dangerous.

So, am I closer to solving my speed issue on my new bike? Not really. What it comes down to is a conscious effort to rein myself in within the rules that everyone else abides by. Will I work to change rules? Sure, but until then, I will try to keep the RT on the simmer burner and keep myself from paying the doughnut tax.

Dad's Garage

Working on cars and motorcycles is nothing new for me as I have been working on vehicles of mass transportation for over 35 years. I got my start in dis-assembly, assembly and troubleshooting of vehicles big and small in a garage in the backyard of my parent's house. This house on 2349 Lafayette Street was built in 1913, a two bedroom Dutch colonial, which means it was a two story home with gambrel roofs and if anyone had a car back then it probably was a Ford Model T. Dad's Garage was a two car garage, but in the sense of fitting two Model T type of cars, which is to say, it was smaller than a two car garage of today. The floor was concrete that even as a child was not in great shape, showing cracks and larger fractures. The building certainly was not insulated and in fact, it did not have dry wall either. It had two swing style doors that my father later converted into a wall with a window on one side and a tracked overhead garage door on the other. He also put a side door in and ran 220 volt service to the garage. Heat came from a Round Oak No. 18 wood stove.

My first ventures in the garage were to take wood scraps and make things out of them or pillage bins of various nuts, bolts and washers in my trying to create something from whatever I'd find laying around. Dad was into woodwork, something that I myself never got into, like the game of golf (my Dad was a greens keeper), time spent in frustration. My artisanal pursuits were or should I say became oriented in the mechanical direction instead. Uncle Cam (Cam is the shortened version of the Italian nickname for Carmine, Camminuccio) was an auto mechanic for an Oldsmobile dealer, Mack Markowitz Oldsmobile and to whose expertise I am indebted to this day. My seemingly eponymous uncle would come over when dad had a problem with his car (we tended to own Oldsmobile) and Uncle Cam would fix it in the yard (like when the Vista Cruiser overheated and Uncle Cam replaced a head in the back yard). This lead to my own experiments with cars.

I remember being something like 9 or 10 years old and after seeing some hot rods on TV or may be in print I must have concluded that obviously, the stock air cleaner assembly was insufficient to do the job. I fashioned an air filter from a old can of wax or compound for my dad's 1967 Vista Cruiser, which had a 330 2bbl engine. I drilled holes in it and cut a hole for the carburetor with tin snips. I loved how it sounded, but it did not impress dad and it did not stay on the car long. Not long after, I found some spare hoses from our pool's filter pump and had ideas of making a ram air setup like I saw on a 1969 442 W-30. Lets just say that hose was a little undersized for the 425 in our 1965 Delta 88. Man that thing howled trying to feed air to that engine! I had the right ideas as in how to get more and colder air into the engine, I just did not have the engineering expertise to make a truly well thought out and finished product. It was not long after that though that my dad would have me help him change the oil and other aspects of maintenance on the family cars.

My first two-wheeled motorbike was a Rupp Mini Bike. I was in 8th or 9th grade and I remember Mom bought it at a garage sale for a song and brought it home one Saturday. My brother Tony and I painted the frame Chevrolet Hugger Orange, and the gas tank Argent Silver. It had a tired three and a half horsepower Tecumseh flat head engine and under dad's supervision, we honed the cylinder, re-ringed the piston, rebuilt the carburetor and did a valve job. It ran very well after that. Before, it could barely go faster than 15 mph. Afterward, we were clocked at 35mph. It could go faster if the governor rod was held in. Eventually the engine threw a rod through the crankcase, probably from exceeding the governor once too often.

My first car was a forest green 1969 Volkswagen Fastback. We bought it from a neighbor, Mrs. Piner, and it was the first foreign car in our family. Mom drove it for a couple years until I got my license and then I inherited it. We did paint it in Dad's garage, using an oil-less craftsman one and a half horsepower compressor, no tank. It came out ok. My brother took it to 95mph and not long after the engine needed an overhaul. The car did have over 90K miles on it, so I do not know what he was thinking. You have to realize this engine had 66 horsepower stock, which is less than most motorcycles I have owned. A local mechanic named Freddy Schenck worked on VWs out of his house. If I recall he had a three or four bay garage in his back yard and knew the VW better than most people and certainly better than I did. He rebuilt the engine for us and did some of the work on the car until I learned how to properly maintain a VW. Changing the oil was not a big deal, but the car had idiosyncrasies. It had electronic fuel injection, which was space age for the year that car was built. Even when I had the car in the late 70's, it was way ahead of American cars. It had front disc brakes too, automatic transmission and radial tires, although the tires were smaller than the rear tire on my R1200RT. One of the problems was the fuel lines. They were of the cloth and rubber variety and would leak after awhile. I replaced quite a bit of fuel line on the injectors and the fuel pump. Often.

Since then I had spent many hours in Dad's garage on many different projects: Rebuilding a 350 and a 400 cubic inch Chevrolet engines, rebuilding and upgrading a KZ1000 engine to 1260CCs and rebuilding various automatic transmissions of the Hydramatic variety. Did I mention carburetors? I used to be an expert in rebuilding and modifying Rochester Quadrajets. I would work on Holleys too, but believe it or not, I liked the Qjets better. I also liked to go out there and do homework sometimes, especially in the winter. I would fire up the Round Oak, put a pot of coffee on the stove and do my college chemistry homework. All of this is what I did and does not take into consideration what my brother and father did in that garage as well.

Many years have passed since I lived at 2349 Lafayette Street and after Dad passed away in 2008, we sold the house and now someone else lives there. It was sad to drive by the house and know it was not my home anymore; not a place I could go to visit pops, work on my car or just relax. The new owners will never the know what mechanical plots were dreamed up, what bench or other types of racing took place there or the challenges as well. In fact, I fear that some day I may drive by when visiting back east, that the house will be gone, as people are tearing down the old small homes and putting up McMansions. Sometimes memories outlive reality.

Today I live in a subdivision in central Iowa with an attached 2 car garage that while bigger than Dad's garage, I find woefully small as it is always filled with stuff. It was only last year I finally bought an air compressor and some air tools to augment my old tool set I have had for almost 30 years. I like my bench better though, as it is longer, wider and taller than Dad's (I am 6'5, so a tall bench is a godsend). With 5 kids ages 5 through 15, it's time I have my own version of Dad's garage and pass something on to my kids in terms of memories and skills. The garage may go away, but the lessons learned there will always be with me. I hope it is the same for my children.

Welcome

Welcome to my blog. My Motorrad is a blog that follows my trials, tribulations, travels and joys in owning a BMW motorcycle, specifically, a 2009 R1200RT. I purchased the motorcycle this past November, coming from a number of Kawasaki platforms. Hopefully this will be a fun trip!


Thank you for reading this blog.